Between Morgos, Magnus & Jade

"Killing newbies ... half the calories ... all the guilt."

Submitted By: Kevin

Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.

Submitted By: Tikasar

*From Shadowmoor One-Shot

(After an intence mod with the water faction)
Shiro: *looks arround confused* "How did I get blue on my finger?"

After playing with a mimic on the way to the tavern, Maudlin starts talking to other HG members. Suddenly she jumps and squeaks as she is poked in the sides.

Maudlin/Sarah B. *turning to see who poked her* "Hey, who tickled the mimic?!"

Submitted By: Mike K

A disgruntled Dark Fae rifts into the tavern, and for whatever perverse reason, begins animating the tables and benches to attack people. Eventually the antics expanded into people’s drinks attacking them, boots, gloves, and an assortment of other items.

Napkin the Half-Orc: “Alright, that’s it, that just wrong! Me just got jumped- by a napkin!”

Niko the Gypsy to Sporc, another Half-Orc: “Good thing eet vasn’t a box ov sporcs.”

Sporc, dread settling in his eyes: “HIDE THE SPORCS!!!! Good call buddy.”

~*~

Mad Maudlin the faery in the background: “Why are we still in here fighting?”

Z the Arcane: “Because they’re dropping silver.”

Mad Maudlin: “Well… what if it was always here, hiding in the benches? People drop a lot of stuff in here after all.”

Z: *starts look contemplatively at a stationary bench*

Submitted By: sarah b.

After an adventure which involved going to Solace to heal several families. Bear and Keja are talking about the reward that was given to her, which was five sparkley beans.

Bear- So you were just paid beans for healing a bunch of folks?

Keja- (nodding)- Ja.

Bear- Hmmm as a recall that is more than healers usely get paid for there time.

Keja-(nodding saddly) Ja.

Submitted By: David

"I am Kira, *snake motion* Snake *lasso motion* Wrangler." -Kira to a snake in the tavern.

Submitted By: Austin (Xavier)

"Hey Anon whats up?" - Kira
"Why would you even say that to me?" - Anon

Submitted By: Miller

While sitting behind the AG ward one of the guild masters Gorrim walks up as a fire elemental and says "Why dont you come out and play huh?" Rethonal looks to him and says "Why dont you go play with the celestial guild, in fact play very rough with the elf named Dashus." He says back to the elf. "Well who should I say sent me to play with him?" Rethonal looked back up to him and replied "Tell him Gorrim Grimaxe sent you."

Submitted By: Zach

Zzed the Dwarf, discussing the lifespan of different races:

"Well, Dwarves usually live until they die."

Submitted By: Casey E.

TWO BEEFY FIGHTERS SITTING ON TAVERN STEPS. A MONSTER WALKS AROUND THE CORNER LOOKING VERY CONFIDENT. "WHAT DO I SEE" ASK FIGHTER 1.
"BROWN SKINNED RAT LIKE CREATURE WITH ANTTENA AND
A BONEY TAIL" THE MONSTER SAYS AS SHE TAKES ANOTHER STEP FORWARD. FIGHTERS 1 AND 2 LOOK EACH OTHER INT THE FACE AND SCREAM "RUST MONSTERRRR"
AND PROCEED TO SPRINT THROUGH THE TAVERN, OUT THE BACK DOOR, AND TO THE THE NEAREST BUILDING WITH A WARD. WITCH HAPPEND TO BE THE ARMOR SMITHS HUILD.

Submitted By: ERIC HIBBLER

During a Pirate Mod:
Leland: "Arrrgh! They be callin' me Lopsided Maggie! Yarg!"
Townspeople - "And your friend - what about her, what's her name?"
Jen - *Caught unawares, trying to think of a name* "Ummm..."
Leland - "Yarg, a bit o' riggin' fell on 'er head, she be a bit slow."

Submitted By: Leland

Said jokingly by Lucien around the fire by the armorsmith guild after 8 members of the druids grove tried to roll 3 members of the necro guild in the tavern

"boys lesson number one, when attempting to kill antoher player never ever lead with a weakness

lesson number 2, when attempting to kill another player never ever follow with a weakness."

Submitted By: Weston

Antonio joking

In little girl voice, "Hi I am Annabelle and I am 8 years old." In big nasty monster voice, "AND I AM A GREATER REVANANT. I KILLED MY PARENTS, MU HA HA.” Little girl voice, giggle, giggle, "The necklace made me do it." Wink, wink.

Submitted By: Rena'

A Storm Giant, Thisbe (Leland) was helping a group of people with a scavanger hunt during Festival.

Brianna-Next, we need a dead fly.

Thisbe-*whisper* Get a faerie over here, and you'll get your dead fly.

Brianna-*GASP* THAT'S NOT NICE!... Oooh, there's a faerie!

Submitted By: Leland

"Friends make like Fun,
it's your enimies, that make it Interesting..."

-Dricarn

Submitted By: Richard Coennen

After Annabelle the 8 year old greater revenant girl tells town that she turned 8 last week they all start singing happy birthday.

Town- "Happy birthday dear Annabelle...." *singing"

One person in the back of the circle- "Happy birthday dear monster....."

Annabelle- "My name is ANNABELLE!"

Submitted By: Jay Johnson

Looking at the 8 year old greater revenant girl Annabelle

Antonio- "Are your eyes pink?"

Annabelle- "Uh huh" *nods head*

Antonio- "You have very pretty eyes."

Submitted By: Jay Johnson

As Annabelle the 8 year old little greater revenant girl and her two revenant friends start heading towards the healers guild somebody in a circle yells "Heads up! Little girl to the healers guild!"

Submitted By: Jay Johnson

About four of us were dogpiled on an air mattress and Luna the truel was explaining to Syron how she got necrites to volunteer for 'vampire time' back in Everhate. This involved one rolled up eye, a slack jawed smile, and one finger pulling on the lower lip with fun gargled sound effects. His reply was...

"My dear, You had me at ghrllphtss."

Submitted By: Sarah C

Five truell are in one place for the first time in several months, so try something wifty which involves phys repping a small fire with kindling as it is too hot for a real one.

Plot comes by and tells us that it didnt quiiite work, but you're in a trance-like state for fifteen minutes or until some one startles you. We're a little ways from the 'town line' but no one wants to be the one to break the moment.

Finally after about 15-20 minutes Andrew/Kohl says, "Solar, where we happily pay 45 dollars to stare at a pile of sticks...."

Submitted By: Sarah C

Outside the side entrance of the tavern. Owing, Sylvain, and Raventhorn are talking to NPC1(keith Folger). Up walks NPC2(George Marston) as a half witted gypsy:
NPC2: Would you like some advice? I have good advice, it will cost 5 gold.
NPC1: OK, here.(gives him the gold) Now, a dragon has just eaten half of Erin, what would you do?
NPC2: Well, first, who is this Erin, is she pretty?

Submitted By: Russ

Owing walks up to Serai
Owing: \"So, I heard you were table dancing.\"
Serai, looking embarrassed: \"I was intoxicated, and it was a bench.\"

Submitted By: Amanda

During a Saturday night mini-field battle, with things calling \"entangle\" taglines and \"plantimating\" people....

Xune is fighting off a bunch of plant people and Aleos is just kind of standing there watching. During the fight Xune steps on her skirt and it starts to unravel, but she continues to fight...eventually there is a brief lull in the fight and Aleos says \"Um....Xune, your clothes are falling off...\" She then turns and looks at him...not even saying anything.

Submitted By: Darrell

Tairis and Rhian, already in bed, hear something outside.

Rhian-\"Did you hear that?\"

Tairis-\"Yeah. Go see what it was. It could be a monster.\"

Rhian-\"No way, you go. I\'m not getting out of bed.\"

Tairis-\"Neither am I.\"

*silence*

Tairis-\"WHAT DO WE SEE... Through... our cabin walls...?\"

Submitted By: Leland

Sitting in the tavern Sir Ballard sees his fellow Defender of Light Trask arrive.

Sir Ballard in very authoritative voice, "Trask Come Here!"

Sir Doughail to Sir Ballard, "You like bossing him around don't you?"

Sir Ballard being facicious, "Of course I do. "

Sir Doughail, "I guess that makes you a real TRASK-MASTER now doesn't it."

Sir Ballard and Trask both close their eyes and groan.

Submitted By: Mike B

Iris, not feeling very healer-ish, decides to go mess with a couple of fire meffits that have wandered near her and the group of dwarves she is walking with. She is the only person not inside a ward. She fears on of them, and the other gaks her. To which the dwarves come to her rescue and kill the meffits after chasing them around for a while.
Iris hollers at Michael before he killing blows one of them.
Iris: \"Hey don\'t kill it! I want to try something\"
Michael: \"Uh...ok\"
The dwarf promptly brings the bloody meffit to Iris and they walk over towards the lake while she first aids it. Iris get to 60 on her count and throws the fire meffit into the water.
Meffit : NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I\'m melting....MEEEEELTINNNNNG!!! What a world!!! WHAT A WOOOORLD....\"
The party looks at the bright fae healer and just shakes their heads.

Submitted By: Michelle

A pair of playboy Jiggalos come out to town, looking for a little female companionship. Wandering around, they come up to the pavilion of the New & Improved Healer's Guild (Morgos, Rove, Aleos, Lucien, Sam's Unseelie, & Xune), and lean in rather insolently against the side.

Jiggalo 1/Jake: Female Lore, any of you women?
Xune: (obviously the only woman) Um, yeah.
Jiggalo 2/Will Knight: Sooo, wanna go somewhere with us and have some fun?
Xune: Maybe, depends. How nice is this place you'd be taking me?
Jiggalo 2/Will Knight: Uh-uh, you take me back to your place, b!@ch

*collective gasp from the rest of the New & Improved Healer's Guild, mentally placing bets on how long it'll take the Jiggalos to go SPLAT*

Jiggalo 1/Jake leans in and whispers to Jiggalo 2.
Player 2/Will Knight nods for a moment, then leans in again towards Xune: Ok, Female Lore, how do I get myself out of this situation?

Submitted By: sarah b.

The pot-helm dwarf and Arylessa are monstering as frost giants.

Arylessa: -=noticeing the dwarf is holding the longest sword ever seen by her she comments=- Hmm..nice sword there

Dwarf with big cheesy perv grin: Well thank you

Submitted By: D/Donnigal

Hilac the Tree Ent singing to the tune of the Mr. Rogers theme song..

"Do you wa-ant to be a maple?"

Submitted By: Sarah C

While attempting to go down a back trail late Saturday night an elf and a fae are complaining about tripping over things and making noise in the leaves, despite their racial 'grace' and flying ability, respectively.

A very human Ani overhears Mad Maudlin's comment to Mir "and i think we should gack the human for being so d*** quiet" and grins.

Submitted By: Sarah C

Saturday on All Hallows during the graveyard battle, Mad Maudlin lets out a sudden squeak as a figure taps her shoulder from behind in the darkness.

Morgos: Maudlin, what's going on here, what do we need to do?

Maudlin: *clearing head* Um, right, short version. There's an Undead Life Avatar out there somewhere, we've gotta steal his sword and run it through that Gate.

Morgos: *blinks* Undead Life Avatar? *turns back to the shadows* Hoo-kay, well that's new...

Submitted By: sarah b.

During the all hallows gather Meemar, the high druid, gets turned into a wraith and apparently decides to torment the healer's guild.

a very loopy Shine: "But Meemar you really don't want to be an evil undead wraith!"

Cambion: "Yeah what would Daddy think?"

Evil Undead Meemar: "Daddy can go stuff himself!"

Submitted By: sunni

During the Shadowmoor graveyard battle, Liam, Guildmaster of the Healer's Guild & Champion of Life, has been killed & drug off by the undead.

One Greater approaches the body. "Hmm, the champion of life. *By the power of chaos, I call you forth and create undead to walk the earth.*”

Tim/Liam: “No effect.”

Nodding, the Greater moves off.

Moments later, the lich approaches, and reaches down. “Animating one, animating two, animating three.”

Tim/Liam: “No effect.”

Lich considers a moment. “*I summon a force to destroy your mace.*”
Tim: “Which one?” *indicates the spare mace in his belt*
Lich: “Your choice.”
Tim/Liam: *raising the mace in his hand* “No effect, magic weapon.”
Lich, grumbling: “*I summon a force to destroy your mace.*” *destroying the other one*

Bending down, the lich reaches to retrieve the magic mace. Liam’s arm moves with it. Lich drops it. He picks it up again, and Liam’s arm moves with it again.

Tim/Grinning corpse of Liam up to the lich: “Paste of Stickiness.”

An undead standing behind the lich: “A shame we cannot Animate this one Master, it is smart.”

Submitted By: sarah b.

Overheard at the Healer's Guild at the All Hallows event when a bunch of undead were standing outside the ward:
"I would set thier doom upon them but somehow I don't think they would care"

Submitted By: Michelle

At the Defenders of Light fort, 6-7 skeletons were banging on the walls, after taking out a few of the undead with the siege engine Sir Ballard comes out from the fort and starts tooling an undead and they DoL sends out another cannon ball

D as dead skelly: Umm, Sir Ballard?

Ballard: yea?

D: Those balls have 5 ft radius right?

Ballard: yea

D: You just took 40 massive from your own siege engine

Ballard: I did? crap...-=drops=-

Submitted By: D/Donnigal

Ryan the Druid Approaches a very large spider after casting speak with animals.

Ryan the Druid: "Leave here it's not safe"
Spider: "I'm hungry and I want food (Physical Web)
Ryan the druid:"No effect"
Spider: "You Suck" as she starts to run away

Submitted By: Brian Goodson

While attempting to explain what happened to Puck the Everlasting, Maudlin, in a drunken stupor says: "He's now Park, the Duck Fae."

Submitted By: Karl

During the first event of August, Hatamoto Chi and the newest member of the Silver Phoenix, Tear were outside of the tavern taking in the tournament.
Tear: “Hey Chi, look it’s a nymph.”
Chi: ”where?”
Tear: ”The tavern steps.”
Chi looks over at the unsuspecting nymph.
Chi then points to a Druid standing nearby “Go distract the Druid”
Tear: starts laughing ”What?”
Chi: ”Go distract the druid”
Tear: “This is in the middle of…”
Chi: “Go distract the druid.”
Tear: “She’s on the tavern steps”
Chi points at the druid again.
Tear goes and talks to the druid as Chi kills the nymph on the tavern steps.
Tear comes back to Chi snickering “I can’t believe you just did that”
Chi: “What? I was bored.”

Submitted By: Jeff

Plot monster ice thingies are rolling town at the Sunday field battle. Iris the blue clad faerie is in a circle when one of the monsters casts a circle around hers, thus trapping her. She has about 1 minute left before her circle piffs. The monster has been dropping his circle and raising it just to taunt the poor faerie for the last 5 minutes. With about 30 seconds left on her circle, the monster drops his and is distracted by something, leaving it lowered. Iris makes a break for it and runs full speed (with her arms crossed over her chest) to the other 2 circles at the other side of the field. Once she reaches the other circles, she notices the other ice things hovering around. She darts behind one of the circles and uncrosses her arms, panting from the sprint.
Plot Guy / Monster (in a ticked off tone): Hey did you just come out of mistform or shadow form?
Michelle / Iris: Neither, I was trying not to flash anybody.
The townspeople and monsters all crack up laughing, 30 foot radius effect.

Submitted By: Michelle

Overheard from inside Healer's Guild, while sitting on the porch...

"...well you see, Morgrim kind of looks at Shadowmoor as a vacation spot. It's kind of like when the Mafia worked to keep drugs out of their own neighborhoods..."

Submitted By: sarah c

At the Shadowmoor one shot a group of wilders is sitting in the tavern. Grrr, the wolf, is approached by a townsperson.
Townsperson: Hey little wolf, what's your name?
Grrr: Grr!
Townsperson: Don't you growl at me! I asked you your name!
Grrr: Grrr!
Townsperson: No.. really.. what's your name?
Grrr: Grr!
Rikita the squirrel: His name is Grrr.

Submitted By: Stephanie

During the 2003 One-Shot, Tempest, a storm fae (played by Shana), and the rest of the druids are running thru the woods, trying to escape the one of the many blood-thirsty mobs.

Tempest's wings are catching in the branches, brush and whatever else, and she has to stop and untangle herself every so often. One of the other druids gets frustrated by this and asks why Tempest can't do a better job of avoiding trees.

Tempest, without missing a beat, replies "What do you think I am - a raccoon???"

Submitted By: Shana

On an early Shadowmoor saturday morning, Devin/Ivan and Sarah/Mad Maudilin, stand over a chalk message on the road "contimplating it", Ivan reads the message alloud, (insert gypsy accent here) "'Mieri too slow, need old Necromancy' what do you think it means little fairy?" Maudilin says (insert celtic fairy accent) "I don't know it might have something to do with Mieri" Ivan states I wonder if it will wash off?" before a responce is obtained he tosses his cup of water on it. and sarah starts chuckling, Devin as ivan "What?"
sarah as self i don't think it was supposed to!"
devin as devin, "Oh well, To loopy must sleep" both chuckle and walk in seperate directions before anyone sees them.

Submitted By: Devin Dzioba

a group of rock mephits outside the silver phoenix ward

"we will - we will rock you"

Submitted By: Comedy

Sam Plant (playing a Mystic Wood Elf) is wrestling with Comedy on the ground and Comedy has ahold of both of his horns while keeping hers out of reach.

Sam: "I disarm you of your me!"

Submitted By: Comedy

Later on a Saturday morning, members of the Silver Phoenix and Mad Maudlin were wandering around near the tavern. A lone green-tabbard figure approached the three of them.

Athelas: "What do we see?"
Monster: "Four foot tall, green skinned-"
Lady Emerald: "I envelop you in mists of sleep!"
Monster: "-sleeping humaniod."

Submitted By: sarah b.

While sitting in the Healers' Guild one night when undead have been wandering around(as usual), everyone's taking a break. Gavin is sitting with his back to the door, while most of the others are facing the door.

Gavin: "There'd better not be any undead out there, 'cause if there is, I'll hafta fight it, and I'm on vacation, damnit!"

all of a sudden, several people's eyes go wide as they see something outside the ward.

Gavin: "What is it?"
Townsperson 1: "Just a squirrel..."
Townsperson 2: "An 8-foot-tall squirrel..."
Townsperson 3: "With glowing...red...eyes..."

Submitted By: Ava

"What's a 'magical moron?'"

~ Teska, referring to a message on the side of the Healers' Guild

Submitted By: William

:After a fallout with some bright fae, Simone the gypsy spots Jynx and waves him down.

"I'z got a problem..." *goes into a detailed description of events*

Jynx smiles, nods and begins to walk off "Dont worry...Ill take care of it..."


Simone to Calliope "Zomevone'z gonna diiiieee"

Calliope "Why do ya say that, Simone?"

Simone "Cauze vhen Jynx zay 'Im gonna take care ov it' Zomevone alwvayz diez!!!"

Submitted By: Jess