"I just took 10 Flaming to the mouth!" -Myself after biting into a scalding hot chicken stick at the New China Buffet.

Submitted By: Seth (Cold/Vlad/Wolf)

After leaving a theme park, discovering we had lost the keys to the car on a ride, and waiting two hours on AAA to get a tow truck to us, Mimi, Andrew and I are sitting in the parking lot BORED TO TEARS.

I grab a rock and scribe a circle "So did anyone bring their summon tow truck scroll and components?"

Mimi and Andrew in unison, "No"

Then Mimi begins chanting "Tow Truck" while gesturing to the horizon. Low and behold, there approaches a truck.

Andrew and I, in unison "MIMI HAS HIGH SOC!!!"

And as a note, when practicing high sorcery in the real world, be sure to specify which item you are summoning, for the tow truck Mimi had conjured was not the tow truck we had called. That one came an hour later.

Submitted By: Clif

One night during the holiday season I, Samantha, and Abby were on the phone late at night when both of them suddenly broke into their version of "Jingle Bells"

"Dashing through the snow, on a dracolich (oh no!). Over Clanthia we go, screaming all the way,(AHHH!) Bells on sarr tails ring, making spirits fright. Oh what a horrible terror it is on all Hallows Eve night. Oh jingle bells, undead smell, mewees laying eggs, all the fendaris lost their horns, and king Devron takes ballet.

Talking to a newbie that wants to play an unseelie, and kill all the wolfkins, he starts singing to the tone of "let it snow"
"Oh the wolfkins are slowely dieing,
their bodies will be frying,
And since there's no one to know,
Killing blow, Killing blow, killing blow."

Submitted By: Abby

Mark was talking to Velvet, Amanda, Nicole, Chris, and Andrew
about the problem with the growing number of wolfkin. It was a
running joke about them being adrogenous, when Mark comes
up with the rules for Wolfkin.

Mark: I got it! They are just like the Gremlins. Don't get them
wet, don't let them get direct sunlight, and don't let the wolf kin
eat after midnight!.

Submitted By: Mark

My cousin and I were sitting in my grandfather's truck one afternoon after work and we got on the topic of what bloodline we were from. At some point my grandfather mentioned that we were French. This is what ensued.

"Yep you boys are part French too I believe."

Ian: "ACK! No! Actively resisting... I want a Respend!"
I drop laughing and my grandfather looks at us both like we are loony.

Submitted By: Patrick

Me and a buncha people where just sitting outside the tavern before game set , one of which being Mike Boze otherwise known as Raru, it was said that there would be some Lich Lord comming after him as soon as game started, so me and my uncle Scott Ellis (Davyn / Xander) started taking bids on how long he would live. Heh me and Scott gave him a fair 30 seconds, but it turned out all of it was fake and a lot of people wanted their gold back LoL.

After a very long Shadowmoor event Andrew and I are driving home early Sunday morning and stop to fill the car tank up. After the machine beeps at him many times Andrew yells back
"NO! I don't want a car wash! All I want is an Egg McMuffin and a nap!!"

Submitted By: Mimi

My friend (Lucas) and I were monstering for the October 31, event at shadowmoor and we were sent out as a group of kobolds and some big ol\' bugs. When we reached the front of the tavern my friend stayed at the rear of the group and told everyone else to attack as he ran like a good little kobold should. Well after i and the rest of the group had been tooled, here comes Lucas. He goes up to the front of the tavern just as half of town comes around from the side. He utters a little oath to himself and takes off running. (Keep in mind it was night time when all of this was happening.) Well, as he\'s running nobody can see the chain that is hanging between two posts so he runs full speed into the chain and folds in half as town gives out a loud, \"OHHHH.\" Not only did it stop there but he was running so fast that it caused the chain to go taunt and spring him back with the only responce being a louder, \"OOOOHHHH!!!!,\" and a couple of winces from town. He slowly gets up as people are going, \"Are you ok?\" His responce was \"Yeah, yeah, i\'m fine,\" as he stood up for a strech and doubled over again saying, \"No, No i\'m not...\" After he walked a little ways away i heard someone say, \"I\'ve heard of a catapult but, never a koboldapult!\"

Submitted By: Sean Chestnut

Trisha and Alex are driving somewhere in the Isles Mystery Machine.

Alex: So I\'ve come up with an idea for the one-shot. I\'m going to play a Sarr named Radio.
Trisha just looks at him strangely.
Alex: with a goofy frin on his face, Yeah, and then you can play somebody called Video. And you could kill me over and over.
Trisha, at first confused, then realization dawning.
Alex: C\'mon. You know, Video killed the Radio Sarr!
Trisha: shaking her head You\'re pulled.

Submitted By: Trisha

Mark and Chris are talking via AIM about Mark\'s D&D campaign he is running, and talking about a psionic prestige class, through this Solar came up:

Mark: so your character can be like Caellach, only Solar doesnt have a pyrokineticist

Chris:Lol yeah

Mark: so is Caellach gonna go elementalist?

Chris: Yeah, after he gets the most important 6th level spell for earth

Mark: and whats that?

Chris: Mistform

Mark: Bah, Spirit of the Ent is happier, and is harder to get out of, you need formal or better to get me out of that, or wait for an hour

Chris: Yeah, but if they have high sorc your screwed

Mark: No, thats what your there for in mist form, tot ake the disrupt/disjunct earth high sorcery packet, while i run off into the woods

Mark: ill pick you up...or tell you what happens when you ressurect

Chris: Lol

Chris: gee thanks

Mark: Really, think about it, Steven is good for a couple slays, then he is useless, trey is good for several spells, then he is useless, and you...your packet bait. I am the one who picks you all up, so who is the most important?

Mark: Wow...you cant tell im a biased scholar

Submitted By: Mark

GUS and I were sitting around our apartment watching \"Star Wars: Attack of the Bad Movie\" when we began discussing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. The topic of the conversation eventually turned to the color of light sabres.

Trisha: Well, you have red, blue, and yellow. But it would seem only Mace Windu gets a purple light sabre.
GUS: Well thats becuase only Mace Windu is pimp enough to have a purple light sabre.

Submitted By: Trisha

-- during OOP conversation via AIM


Mike/Raventhorn: Mimi (Minkara) says 'hi'
Larry/Meemar: Say Hi for me.
Larry/Meemar: Remind me- Minkara...? Gods, I'm lousy with names.
Mike/Raventhorn: Treehouse Merchants ... curly blond elf girl with staff
Larry/Meemar: Run-get dropped-get healed-run some more?
Mike/Raventhorn: yeah, her


later ... discussing the moral leanings of certain knights


Larry/Meemar: Or is Wilhelm life? I don't remember.
Mike/Raventhorn: Wilhelm is Life (so he says) but he leans heavily toward slaw as well
Larry/Meemar: slaw? :'D
Mike/Raventhorn: that's supposed to be 'towards law'
Larry/Meemar: But it works so well the other way!!
Mike/Raventhorn: but I think I like the way it came out better
Mike/Raventhorn: Wilhelm the cabbage head
Mike/Raventhorn: For the Glory of Life and Slaw

Submitted By: Mike Koontz

Mark and Chris are having a phone conversation, about chris getting as many fairy bisquits he wants, if he brings Greg and himself to Shadowmoor. Chris comments how his college fairy bisquits are better than michelles and he gets them all the time.

Mark: But THOSE fairy bisquits arent all knowing
Chris: What?!
Mark: You ask michelle\'s fairy bisquits a yes or no questions, and you eat them, if they are sugary and sweet, the answer is yes.
Chris: I...i dont know dude, i dont wanna eat fairy bisquits that talk.
Chris: if they talk, then something hasnt been prepared right

Submitted By: Mark

A few moments from the Defenders of Light Spring Equinox celebration:

A Kobold who\'d been harassing the edges of the party, after rebuking a few overtures of friendship, finally made an appearance. The half of the party out in the woods looked over as he was being beat down, and Maudlin went to investigate, drawing a circle around the body.
\"Ok, so why are we killing Kibbits?\"
\"He stole some of Doughail\'s tasty.\"
\"Stole the tasty? The apple pie licquor or the blackberry brandy?\"
\"Yup\"
*hacking into dead body*
Satisfied, she lowers the circle
\"Now he\'s Kibbits \'n bits.\"


\"What\'re those?\"
\"Hmmm.... *what do I see* Looks like frost giants.\"
\"Anyone have any spell packets?\"
\"No, ran out of those pretty quick, we\'ve been using peanuts.\"


\"Did ANYone bring a sword?\"


\"Whatta ya mean High Sorcery?!?!\"


\"Skeletons? Oh, I got this\"
*Shatter Armor*Shatter Armor*Shatter*Shatter*
\"Mad Maudlin, the bone buster.\"


Heard around the fireside: \"Abject terror, abject terror, abject terror-\"
Keja: \"Lunch, abject terror....\"

Submitted By: sarah b.

At the Defender of Light party on a chilly April night, two seperate fires have been built, one on the ground in the backyard, and one in a ceramic firepit on the porch. Those on the porch didn\'t notice one of the sticks had fallen out of the ceramic firepit. From the backyard, we hear:

Rose (Lady Rosa): \"Karl...Karl...Karl...\"

Karl: \"What?\"

Rose: \"The porch is on fire.\"

Karl, after a minute: \"Oh.\"

Submitted By: Jen

We all knew Friday night was going to be hell. Multiple times Dow and company had come and looked over our ward notes and such. It had been 6 hours of waiting on pins and needles to have our bums handed to us on plates.

And then Pontus walks in with a pillow and blanket.

Ans - 'GASP! Dude, is it -that- bad? You're just going to camp in here?'

Confused Pontus - 'Huh? Nah, someone let these outside.'

Entire cabin sighs.

Submitted By: Ansley

"Them Federals sure were breaking the 'one dodge' rule."

~ "Private" Billy Murphy at a Civil War Re-enactment, after firing at a Union lumberjack four times.

Submitted By: William

-=After somehow getting all the money that was brought into the the fairy brothel on friday night because the fairies did not feel like buring there hands on the metal, D has to comment=-

D: Since i got all the money so far i wonder if I can get Scott to let me have the craft skill "Pimp"

-=All around break=-

Submitted By: D/Donnigal

Sunni: "Yeah, he's got a liche in his past."
Wil: "I thought you just said he's got a liche in his pants. I don't want to know what's in his pants."

...

Troy: "Imagine what would happen if it popped out and started casting deaths and dooms. 'Is that a death in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'"

Submitted By: Jeni

Walker and Anthony are rooming together at Mississippi State University. Walker has just returned from his 2:00pm class entitled "French III" and Anthony has just returned from one of his Chem E classes. As they meet in the room, Walker starts to go over what his french class had been up to, then he asks Anthony -

"so what'd you do in French 1 today?"

Anthony replies, "the usual stuff."
W- "well, just wait until you have to take these higher level French classes. i hate them to death."

A- "Well, to tell the truth, i don't have to take any of the other French classes."

Walker looks at Anthony, and his face looks questionable. "ok, so why are you taking a french class then?"

Anthony looks at Walker, and with an absolutely straight face, "i wanted to learn Elvish."

W- "So you took a French class to learn how to speak Elvish, for Solar??!!"

A- "Well, i had this elective i needed and i thought, what the heck, it would be fun to to talk in character, etc..."

Submitted By: Walker

Erin : Only at SOLAR will you see more straight guys in skirts than girls

Submitted By: dominique

Trey - "You know dwarfs are like the mafia: someone messes with us, we take them out; someone makes fun of us, we take them out; someone goes after our assets, we take them out."
Erik - "You know how dwarfs aren't like the mafia? No one respects the dwarfs."

Submitted By: Cres

For those of you that don't know me, I play a bright fae with a big sparkly cape. My boss has no idea what Solar is.
I'm sitting in my office and my boss comes in. He starts praising me for the wonderfull job I do, blah blah blah. Upon exiting, he turns to look at me.
"Michelle, I think the only thing you don't do is fly around wearing a cape."
I didn't bother to correct him.

Submitted By: Michelle

Kitty and Erik (Cres) are talking on the phone, both half-loopy.

Cres "But Cres isn't my real name, well, not ALL of it"
Kitty "I would think not, otherwise everyone would be voice controlling you"
Cres "They do, its just after the Animate Verbal rather than my name."

Submitted By: Cres

Mike (Daaku) and Craig (Akari) are sitting at a Waffle House at about 1:30 AM. While talking about life's little problems...
Craig: I think that guy looks familiar. Like a SOLAR player. *Points over Mike's shoulder*
Mike, turning: Nope, never seen him.
Then the conversation changes to SOLAR and about race changes, and then overheard from Mike's shoulder..
OOP Clanthian, pointing at Craig: Yeah, and HE plays a ranger...

Submitted By: Mike Parry

Upon asking SteveO why he plays humans, and why he thinks they are the master race in SOLAR:

SteveO: Because we were taking over the world while everyone else was still putting on their make-up!

Submitted By: Steph R

While discussing the effects of Turn Undead, it was clarified that it would only make a Greater uncomfortable. Sarah C pipes up with, "Oh that's just great, give the lich a wedgie." After a stunned silence, the OOP Snake Oil Medicine Troupe dies laughing.

Submitted By: Wil

Trisha and her roommate Crissee (who has never played SOLAR before, though has endured many hours of its discussion) are driving home from the Macon Mall when they pass a sign proclaiming "Baby Chicks!"

Crissee: "Aww..We should get a baby chick."
Trisha: "Ummm, what the hell would we do when it grew up? Chickens are mean."
Crissee: "We could have fresh eggs."
Trisha: "Yeah, but how are we going to tell a girl baby chicken from the boy? Magic?"
Crissee: (with a straight face) "We throw spell packets at them. If they bounce off, they're girls. And if they stick, they're boys."

Trisha, having no reply, simply stares at her 'normal' roommate before breaking down with laughter. No one is immune to Solar apparently.

Submitted By: Trisha

During the WU-Shot(a training mini-mod for newbies), the adventuring party starts to get near the Book...a squirrel attacks, and then explains to the ranger in the party that the book is bad, and they shouldn't go near it, all the while dodging every other word or so...

Player 1: Out of play...isn't there supposed to be a limit on dodges?
Player 2: *shrugs* It's a plot squirrel...he can do whatever he wants...

Submitted By: Ava

Andrew Barron's away message after coming home from shadowmoor.
"Excellent! Now that I have a strip of gaff tape in front of my door, nothing can penetrate the serenity of my inner sanctum!
Ward up, mothaf***a!"

Submitted By: sunni

Three gamers after about four hours of dnd the week after solar, try to break into a friends apartment after having forgotton something important. We got through the first two locks, but get stuck on the third, a chain lock. We proceed to get boffer weapons and beat on the door calling slays..that failed, we throw small objects calling spell verbals.....finally tired and loopy we are ready to give up...."We're gamers we should be able to manage one stupid lock."
"Hold on let me roll some dice"
*laughter heard from inside the apartment*

Submitted By: Gena

After playing a Silver Scarab at the last Clanthia:
"Well, the S.O.L.A.R. fighting style has certainly been well displayed to me....the more body you have, the harder EVERYONE pummels you!"

Submitted By: Stephanie R

"You know, there have only been two times that I've jumped out of bed at SOLAR. Once because of the Order of Despair was attacking, the other because Erin was making chicken parmasean."

One lazy Saturday morning, two Everhate players are chatting on the internet...

MA: Boys are weird
Ans: is it just me or have you noticed that all the army guys pretty much look the same?
MA: they do
MA: all from the same mold
MA: like wraiths that way

Submitted By: Ans

At NGHS, where alot of the younger Clanthia players go to school, a few of us are sitting around talking. Mike (Daaku), Max (Nire), Brent (Krougen), Daniel (Nivek), Adam (Miles), Kat (Asairu), to name just about everyone, are making fun of Craig's (Akari's) new haircut.
Mike: Dude, I think Akari would have enough sense not to get a psuedo mullet. Shave that sucker off.
Craig: Man, it's not even like a mullet!
Max: Akari stands before the last undead left in Clanthia, Mullet flowing through the wind..."

Submitted By: Mike Parry

Overheard in Monstertown... "He hit me so hard, it knocked the taste right out of my mouth."

Submitted By: Rená

Jefferz, Geo, and Captain Tripps with his girlfriend are sitting in Waffle House on the Sunday Morning of a Con. Tripps gestures grandly while talking about something unimportant and knocks Jefferz' orange juice all over the table, the floor, and portions of Geo.

A hungover and garbed Jefferz finnaly flags down the waitress: Look, could you clean this up, or give me something to clean this up with? It's wet, and I'm wearing a dress.

Submitted By: Jefferz

Will Knight at Everhate - "I'm always saying funny witty things but i never get put on the quote board."

Submitted By: Sam

From a recent trip to the Athens, GA Ace Hardware:

OOP PC: "Do you carry 5/8" pipe insulation foam?"
Store Owner: "Sure, the sword foam is in the back left-hand corner."

(Later, as the OOP dwarf is checking out with several foam tubes in his arms)

Store Owner: "Must be a big battle coming up."
OOP PC: "Yep. Gotta get the geebas!"
(both chuckle as a "local" man standing nearby looks very confused. *grin*)

: -After the event, Jessica and Calvin make their way into the apartment. Calvin's pockets are jingling for the money he forgot to turn in.-

"HEY! I got s'more money!!"

-Jessica *too lazy to change from her costuming* goes in the bathroom to remove her gypsy bra.-

"Messy? How much did you make?"

-Then... the sound of 'clinkin' comes from the bathroom-

Messy-"Um...I forgot to empty my OTHER pouch!"

-Calvin dies laughin-

Submitted By: Calvin

Calvin : Hey, so these spell packets represent a spell, right?

Jess: Riiiight...

Calvin: what if I wanted to throw more than one?... can I do that?

Jess: No... and dont...

*calvin picks up at least 10 spell packets and hurls them at jess*

Jess (in the fetal position as they were packed and the tails cut off): I said... DONT! ow ow ow ow...

Calvin: I just wanted to make sure I hit you... hey... why you twitchin? Get up.. it wasnt THAT bad...

Submitted By: Jess

Matt/Jonathan, Mike/Daaku, and Craig/Akari are sitting at a Waffle house one Sunday morning. They order and then get the check.
Mike: I have $15.
Matt: I'll pay you back.
Craig: Do either of you realize we are 37cents short?
Craig goes to the car to search for change.
Craig: We're short 15 cents.
Mike pulls out a "silver" and throws it on the table.

Submitted By: Matt/Jonathan

Cres "I'm thinking about playing a fae"
Trisha "Well considering I know alot about Fae at solar and costuming is my forte"
Cres "I won't be able to become a Necromancer though, but thats ok, I get to be sparkly"
Trisha "indeed"
Cres "Which is almost as good as Imbue Death, only harder to wash out"

Submitted By: Cres

At the beginning of the Everhate event, Bear, Deb and assorted people were trying to get ready but make-up was melting and not sticking to anyone. Bear, with melting,evaporating orange all over his face staggers towards Deb and proclaims...
"I AM YAM MAN!!!!!"

Submitted By: Tracy M

Mike, Craig, Brent, and Max (Daaku, Akari, Krougen, Nire) are playing DnD while Zach (Raditz) is DMing. We all start looking at our chracter sheets, while Max, the only first time player, has a spell sheet. Everyone turns to Max as he excalims "Whoa!"
Mike: "What man?"
Max: "Doom is only a first level spell?!?"
Everyone else: *Slap!*

Submitted By: Mike/Daaku

Emily having SOLAR on the mind one morning is attacked by a vicious 4 lb. puppy. Just as the puppy is lunging at her head she darts under the covers.
Emily:"Ward up!"
Stephanie: "Dude... You need more sleep."
They both eventually toss the puppy out of the room.

Submitted By: Emily

After the Shadowmoor one-shot, a number of people are swimming in the lake, including david/Shaddowe, Alex/Og, TJ/Anakha, Mo, Jade, and Paul Troy.

Jade loos to TJ and says with a bright look on her face, "Hey! Aren't you the guy that died at SOLAR?"

Everyone stops what they are doing and just looks at her before bursting out into laughter. Alex looks to Jade and says, "I don't think there is a person who plays the game that hasn't died."

Submitted By: TJ Hill

after staying up the night talking about the upcoming event, two players are drifting off to sleep one is overheard by the other murmuring a question...

"Does a rolling stone elf gather no moss?..."

Submitted By: sarah c

Tem (Andrew) and I were providing backup in the search for another character, and after 3 trips looking in all (or so we thought) of the cabins and 7 hours later, the guy leading us got this expression on his face and said "There's a cabin we didn't check!" We quietly raced to the cabin, and upon arriving and examination we all were mad at our leader.. I distinctly remember Andrew and I saying almost simultaneously "You mean to tell us he lived 20 feet from OUR cabin?!" This was promptly followed by his rather quiet and shamed remark, "Mine's even closer."

Submitted By: Will