Djinn the farmer is questioned about life back in his home town of clanthia.
cerronethian:"so i heard yall got attacked by a void dragon last week."
djinn:*in head*"yeah i heard that too."*out loud*"yeah it sucked motha F****r was strong."
cerronethian:"and i heard the the vampires are ransacking the town to at night and taking captives."
calanthian:*in head*"um dang this guy knows more about whats going on in calathia than i do"*out loud*"yeah it sucks."
cerronethian:"i also heard yall fought the void armys"
calanthian:*in head*"this guys a freaking spy i swear i was there and i didnt know what they were"*out loud*"yeah that sucked too"
cerronethian: "so how is life in calanthia?"
calanthian:*in head*"i should be asking you that"*out loud*"apparently it sucks"

Submitted By: chris gandee

"Tonight, we eat victory pie. For if we lose, there will be no more pie." Ba'al, May 608

Submitted By: Jorgan Von Strangle

While telling a dramatic and very serious story:
Antar: "And then the dragon nommed the void."

Submitted By: Stephanie W.

right before the hail started falling from the tornado in march.
i was walking through the trails when i walk up on 2 pcs fighting each other
pc1 "i strike you with an ice bolt"

Submitted By: Crosswind

Between Morgos, Magnus & Jade

"Killing newbies ... half the calories ... all the guilt."

Submitted By: Kevin

Said by Lord Kellis after killing a group of Undead Trolls that came from the direction of Sudbyr
Kellis: "Wait, did those Undead come from Sud.."
Munsun: "What?"
Kellis: "Nevermind" ::walks away::

Submitted By: Chris Haley

"I just took 10 Flaming to the mouth!" -Myself after biting into a scalding hot chicken stick at the New China Buffet.

Submitted By: Seth (Cold/Vlad/Wolf)

Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.

Submitted By: Tikasar

*From Shadowmoor One-Shot

(After an intence mod with the water faction)
Shiro: *looks arround confused* "How did I get blue on my finger?"

Ptolemy: This is the skull of my father, I keep it so I can always
remember him and always... hold him in my heart.

Wild Elf: You hold father in HAND.

Submitted By: Chad

Troll Song! "I kill two dwarfs in the morning, I kill two dwarfs at night, I kill two Dwarfs in evening and then i feel alright! I kill two dwarfs in time of peace, and two in time of war, I kill two dwarfs before i kill two dwarfs and then ikill two more!"

Submitted By: Singing Trolls

While playing my goat wilder at the 2007 festival, I was standing outside the tavern doing an impression of the Afflack goat. A guy walked out and said "Hey goat, you got a lighter." I responded with "Naaah", He shook his head and walked back in.

Submitted By: Steven M

As Sudbyr was hanging out in the shadows behind the tavern, a group of three monsters come up. The acting Baron Lamec ask the monsters what they are doing, and the monsters simply reply " trying to survive" Lamec agrees that is a fair goal and states that if they do not attack the Sudbyr, Sudbyr will not attack them. Further into the the conversation Lamec ask the monsters what they are looking for, food, shelter, or the like. Then the monsters reply " well.. actually we are monsters" and Sudbyr begins to laugh quietly, when asked by another member why they were monsters in the first place the monster group responded " because our characters are newbs" at that the entire group broke out in heavy laughter

Submitted By: Keith Head / Cadicus

After playing with a mimic on the way to the tavern, Maudlin starts talking to other HG members. Suddenly she jumps and squeaks as she is poked in the sides.

Maudlin/Sarah B. *turning to see who poked her* "Hey, who tickled the mimic?!"

Submitted By: Mike K

A disgruntled Dark Fae rifts into the tavern, and for whatever perverse reason, begins animating the tables and benches to attack people. Eventually the antics expanded into people’s drinks attacking them, boots, gloves, and an assortment of other items.

Napkin the Half-Orc: “Alright, that’s it, that just wrong! Me just got jumped- by a napkin!”

Niko the Gypsy to Sporc, another Half-Orc: “Good thing eet vasn’t a box ov sporcs.”

Sporc, dread settling in his eyes: “HIDE THE SPORCS!!!! Good call buddy.”

~*~

Mad Maudlin the faery in the background: “Why are we still in here fighting?”

Z the Arcane: “Because they’re dropping silver.”

Mad Maudlin: “Well… what if it was always here, hiding in the benches? People drop a lot of stuff in here after all.”

Z: *starts look contemplatively at a stationary bench*

Submitted By: sarah b.

2 trols came walking up and Cub was with us and she was crouching down. the 2 trolls said they wanted the crouching tiger! i immediately responded well watch out for the hidden dragons. the 2 trolls got scared and started looking around for hidden dragons. It was soo funny.

Submitted By: Seer

After an adventure which involved going to Solace to heal several families. Bear and Keja are talking about the reward that was given to her, which was five sparkley beans.

Bear- So you were just paid beans for healing a bunch of folks?

Keja- (nodding)- Ja.

Bear- Hmmm as a recall that is more than healers usely get paid for there time.

Keja-(nodding saddly) Ja.

Submitted By: David

"I am Kira, *snake motion* Snake *lasso motion* Wrangler." -Kira to a snake in the tavern.

Submitted By: Austin (Xavier)

"Hey Anon whats up?" - Kira
"Why would you even say that to me?" - Anon

Submitted By: Miller

While sitting behind the AG ward one of the guild masters Gorrim walks up as a fire elemental and says "Why dont you come out and play huh?" Rethonal looks to him and says "Why dont you go play with the celestial guild, in fact play very rough with the elf named Dashus." He says back to the elf. "Well who should I say sent me to play with him?" Rethonal looked back up to him and replied "Tell him Gorrim Grimaxe sent you."

Submitted By: Zach

Its the September 2006 event in cerroneth. The 4 day to be precise. Its eary in the AM on sunday morning around 7 Ish, you know the time when pretty much everyone is sleeping and the few insomniacs that know how to have fun are still up wandering like zombies.
Im standing at the smokers guild.(Adam/Drack) I look over and Chandra/Jess and one of her friends walks up. We talk for a few minutes then a random plot person walks up.
"What do we see" Just a human....
A conversation starts as it usually does asking what the human needs and such. and he says something about his friends being dead.
Without even thinking twice about it Chandra says "Yea.... If your friends dead then someone probably killed him"
I promptly fell out laughing as she slapped me and made the excuse that its to early. heh.

Submitted By: Adam Viescas

Standing outside Nevermore at around 4am with strange furred creatures inside as well as 2 vampires.

The general consensus is that we are not going to be able to get in the wards as we can’t seem to find a disrupt scroll and components.

Vampire: “Ward down!” As he prepares to throw a spell at us standing outside the cabin.

Jack/Brady: “Hold! Leap.” Jack walks over and stands in front of the vampire on the ward.

Jack/Brady: Looking over his shoulder at the group. “Jack be nimble.”

Submitted By: Andrew/Illander

After leaving a theme park, discovering we had lost the keys to the car on a ride, and waiting two hours on AAA to get a tow truck to us, Mimi, Andrew and I are sitting in the parking lot BORED TO TEARS.

I grab a rock and scribe a circle "So did anyone bring their summon tow truck scroll and components?"

Mimi and Andrew in unison, "No"

Then Mimi begins chanting "Tow Truck" while gesturing to the horizon. Low and behold, there approaches a truck.

Andrew and I, in unison "MIMI HAS HIGH SOC!!!"

And as a note, when practicing high sorcery in the real world, be sure to specify which item you are summoning, for the tow truck Mimi had conjured was not the tow truck we had called. That one came an hour later.

Submitted By: Clif

Well as it was town was empty and a few of us were sitting in front of the Tavern Sparing and cutting up..well one of us went around the side of the tavern and started screaming and running around back to the front of the cavern screaming something about red glowing eyes..then Plot came around and were OOP(Out-Of-Play) all of us on the porch then started laughing and stuff

Submitted By: Aaron(Crim)

Zzed the Dwarf, discussing the lifespan of different races:

"Well, Dwarves usually live until they die."

Submitted By: Casey E.

Illithids were running around town dominating people, when one came by me on the AG outter ward. I (playing my unseelie) told it to wait up and walked to the ward looking down.-this is what followed

Me: Hey! wait! I challenge you to a staring contest. ready? 3 2 1 go! *and i look up straight into his eyes.*

The Illithid: ... domination gaze...

Me: ... resist-you blinked!

I then sat back down and the Illithid walked off.

TWO BEEFY FIGHTERS SITTING ON TAVERN STEPS. A MONSTER WALKS AROUND THE CORNER LOOKING VERY CONFIDENT. "WHAT DO I SEE" ASK FIGHTER 1.
"BROWN SKINNED RAT LIKE CREATURE WITH ANTTENA AND
A BONEY TAIL" THE MONSTER SAYS AS SHE TAKES ANOTHER STEP FORWARD. FIGHTERS 1 AND 2 LOOK EACH OTHER INT THE FACE AND SCREAM "RUST MONSTERRRR"
AND PROCEED TO SPRINT THROUGH THE TAVERN, OUT THE BACK DOOR, AND TO THE THE NEAREST BUILDING WITH A WARD. WITCH HAPPEND TO BE THE ARMOR SMITHS HUILD.

Submitted By: ERIC HIBBLER

Saturday Morning, shortly after waking up and eating at the tavern...

Yui (me) walks up behind Orianna (the MWE daughter of Yui) and Kisike (a human friend of the two) coming from the direction of the tavern. Both girls sit up from laying on the ground as Hoshi and Iko stand and talk to one another. Orianna, now on her nees, pauses and looks down, head tilted, confusd expression, and pointing.

Kisike raises an eyebrow, still half-laying on the ground, propped up on her elbows “What..?”

“How in the world did a muffin get there?!” Orianna exclaims, pointing at a half-eaten muffin that was not there a few seconds earlier.

Hoshi, Iko, Kisike and Yui burst into a fit o laughter.

Several events ago I was eep bashing and when several monsters came out of the woodline. One of the monsters was armed with a two handed sword, makeing eye contact both of us charge and do identical upward swings at the same time for a perfect simultianious nut shots. We kind of just stood there for a second and then gave identical squeeks and fell over sideways. The resulting conversation went somthing like this.

Monster: you all right?

Me: no, you

Monster: no.

Me: you think if I just lie here for a bit something will kill me.

Monster: if you feel like me then I dont think dieing sounds that bad right now.

me:...not really.

Submitted By: Matthew Haecker

Nicholai Voyani is in his cabin, just waking up on the Saturday morning of the February 2006 event, he is haveing a conversation with midien who is behind the second ward in the Nul'Vanya cabin.......during this conversation Nicholai sits up and finally opens his eyes and looks to where Midien's voice is coming from.........

and the first thing he sees is her bending over rifling through her "boxes"

***random spell packets bounces off Laura's left butt cheek***

Midien - "Hey what was that"

(OOP Matt/Nicholai) "Me throwing a spell packet at the perfect target to wake up to!!!!!"

***Laura/Midien promptly turns fire engine red and dives for the cover of her bunk, where she remains hidden for almost an hour***

Submitted By: Matthew Smith

During a Pirate Mod:
Leland: "Arrrgh! They be callin' me Lopsided Maggie! Yarg!"
Townspeople - "And your friend - what about her, what's her name?"
Jen - *Caught unawares, trying to think of a name* "Ummm..."
Leland - "Yarg, a bit o' riggin' fell on 'er head, she be a bit slow."

Submitted By: Leland

Kita and another were monstering, and took a break at the smoker's guild by the tavern. While they were there, Baron Crash ran towards the tavern door, with something chasing him, He wasn't paying attention and ended up smaking right into the Tavern door before opening it and running in.
Kita: (To random person she was with) Well, They don't call him Baron Crash for nothing....

Submitted By: Kita

Red King Warrior: “7-Normal!”
Illander: “Wait, Wait!!” “Your commander over there said not to attack me.”
Red King Warrior: “I don’t remember hearing that?!?”
Aradan: “I call upon Chaos, Decay and Rot to poison you!”
**Packet hits Red King Warrior**
Red King Warrior: *Turning to Aradan* “Wait we were talking.”
Illander: “Correct that was an in-play conversation.” *Runs off*
Aradan: “4-Blunt, 4-Blunt, 4-Blunt…”

Submitted By: Andrew/Illander

Illander, Kalinda, Quinn, Caitri and Timmith decide to play a joke on Profession Ran.

*Professor comes out of a cabin across site holding a drink in his hand*

Illander: *Falls to ground*
Quinn: *Falls to ground*
Caitri: *Falls to ground*
Dakota: *Falls to ground*
Kalinda: “RAN HELP!!!” *Begins first aiding people*
Professor Ran: *Running across site*
Kalinda: “RAN FASTER!!” *Continues first aiding people*
Professor Ran: *Continuing to run trying not to drop his drink or loose pouches*
Professor Ran: *Leaning over Quinn* “Healing arts.”
Quinn: “Oh nothing I just felt like lying down for a moment.”
Professor Ran: “That aint funny.”
Everyone except Ran: *Laughing*
Professor Ran: “I almost dropped my drink.”

Submitted By: Andrew/Illander

(While I was playing a slime thingy for a newbie mob)
"smish smish, smish smish,berserk vemon."

*hits the tapped healer.* *The Healer rushes to the person in from of her and...*

"First Aiding 1, First aiding 2..."

Submitted By: Rory(Ookamai)

One night during the holiday season I, Samantha, and Abby were on the phone late at night when both of them suddenly broke into their version of "Jingle Bells"

"Dashing through the snow, on a dracolich (oh no!). Over Clanthia we go, screaming all the way,(AHHH!) Bells on sarr tails ring, making spirits fright. Oh what a horrible terror it is on all Hallows Eve night. Oh jingle bells, undead smell, mewees laying eggs, all the fendaris lost their horns, and king Devron takes ballet.

Said jokingly by Lucien around the fire by the armorsmith guild after 8 members of the druids grove tried to roll 3 members of the necro guild in the tavern

"boys lesson number one, when attempting to kill antoher player never ever lead with a weakness

lesson number 2, when attempting to kill another player never ever follow with a weakness."

Submitted By: Weston

Just after game-on, Friday night, During the War against the Black King, Brom the Druid is sneaking through the shadows watching a pack of about 15 Black King soldiers roaming through town. A group of about 12 townsfolk come out of a cabin and see the Black King's men, and begin to set up to jump them. Brom joins their group...

Brom- Hey guys, that might not be that good of an Idea. There's a lot of them.

Townsfolk- Nah, we can take 'em!

Brom- Wait, I've been watching this group for a while, there's a lot of "Prepare to Die" and "I grant you the gift" coming from them!

Townsfolk- Great! That means they're low! let's get 'em! YAAHHH!!!

As the townsfolk charge and Brom disappears behind another tree.

Thirty seconds later, 10 townsfolk and three Black King's soldiers are laying on the ground, and the remaining soldiers are chasing the other townsfolk into the woods.

Brom- Healing arts... I grant rest and warmth to cure light wounds, I told you. Healing arts... I call upon the earth to cure critical wounds, I told you...

Submitted By: Brom

Achira the wolf wilder had just came back into town with two new sarr and one new unseely, Vex. Vex, Achira, the two sarr, Rion(the bear) and Dyanni were all sitting in the tavern a bit afterwards, enjoying each other's company when Achira's abnormally long dreds get in her way and she has to flick them back. Vex looked at her, arched a brow and stated "Well that's a lot of hair..."
Achira grinned and retorted "Well I'm a lot of wolf".
At that moment everyone had to go oop and have nice good laugh.

Submitted By: Shyla(Devyl/Achira)

Talking to a newbie that wants to play an unseelie, and kill all the wolfkins, he starts singing to the tone of "let it snow"
"Oh the wolfkins are slowely dieing,
their bodies will be frying,
And since there's no one to know,
Killing blow, Killing blow, killing blow."

Submitted By: Abby

Mark was talking to Velvet, Amanda, Nicole, Chris, and Andrew
about the problem with the growing number of wolfkin. It was a
running joke about them being adrogenous, when Mark comes
up with the rules for Wolfkin.

Mark: I got it! They are just like the Gremlins. Don't get them
wet, don't let them get direct sunlight, and don't let the wolf kin
eat after midnight!.

Submitted By: Mark

At the Healers guild around 10 oclock, to ogres amble out of the woods grumbling to eatch other when they see people sitting on the porche to the guild. Sudennly they ran up to the porch and start asking for Rok the Ogre Knight. after a few minuets of conversation The guild master lowers th ward to whisper something to the ogres and they both fall asleep. The guild master searches their bodies, then walks back behind the ward raising it. a few seconds later an orc shakes awak an ogre. "Wh.. mmmm hrmmm..... What the hell?!!!" a confused look spawns over the ogres face as he see's a small orc look at him. "Hey, you two go ever there to the other side" he said while pointing to the otherside of the porch "And lets get em".

With adumnfounded look on his face he rouses his friend. "ROARG!!! what in the,.... I'l gill em! let me at em!" Bellowed ogre number 2. "Hold on.." grunted ogre #1. He searched his pouches "I think we've been robbed" Then they both looked at the two scrawy orcs as they roared in unison "ATTACK!" but before they could do anything the healers guild porch burst into laughter as the ogres fell asleep again.

Submitted By: Josh (Orkish one)

Munsun, Dwyden, Galanis, and I were all sitting around inside
the Healer's Guild with Munsun and I sitting in chairs in the
resurrection circle.

Suddenly Dwyden yells "Maelona! MOVE NOW! COME THIS
WAY!"

We both jumped forward and across the room and looked back
to discover the GIANT wolf spider that had been about to land
on my head. After everyone stood around for awhile watching it
Munsun grabbed his sword, muttered "Prepare to die, SLAY" and
swung at the spider.

The spider disappeared, I went up on a couch, and everyone else
was looking for the body. Just as everyone realized the spider
had been liquified on Munsun's sword I gave the helpful advice,
"Make sure you get its life tag!"

Submitted By: Maelona (Josi)

Antonio joking

In little girl voice, "Hi I am Annabelle and I am 8 years old." In big nasty monster voice, "AND I AM A GREATER REVANANT. I KILLED MY PARENTS, MU HA HA.” Little girl voice, giggle, giggle, "The necklace made me do it." Wink, wink.

Submitted By: Rena'

Saturday Night prefeild battle around midnight I was sent to the Celestial Guild with a celestial knight. We were sent off looking to see what we were under the impression, was a greater undead. Upon reaching the road to high town we turn and see Paul Troy and about 20 others, all with green and red glowing objects.
Aalasandros: "Oh f*** me... I call upo... wait a second.. What do I see?"
Celestial Knight during my speech: "Oh hell.."
Paul Troy: We aren't here.
Me OOP: "Damn it Paul! You scared the hell out of me!"

Submitted By: Aalasandros

My cousin and I were sitting in my grandfather's truck one afternoon after work and we got on the topic of what bloodline we were from. At some point my grandfather mentioned that we were French. This is what ensued.

"Yep you boys are part French too I believe."

Ian: "ACK! No! Actively resisting... I want a Respend!"
I drop laughing and my grandfather looks at us both like we are loony.

Submitted By: Patrick

A Storm Giant, Thisbe (Leland) was helping a group of people with a scavanger hunt during Festival.

Brianna-Next, we need a dead fly.

Thisbe-*whisper* Get a faerie over here, and you'll get your dead fly.

Brianna-*GASP* THAT'S NOT NICE!... Oooh, there's a faerie!

Submitted By: Leland

A group of people are standing in line waiting for weapons check in at the August 2005 event. Maikel, an archer, is seated at the wooden tables with his weapons chatting with a few of the other players in character. One of them asks Maikel: "So, You pretty good with that thing?" nodding towards the bow.

"Yea, I handle myself ok with it." Maikel replies.

"Well how do you think you'd handle thirty acid?" Another person asks.

Branthanas, who's also in line, but with a white head band on, pipes up. "How do you think I'D handle thirty acid?"

"You don't count, your not here." he replied quickly.

"oh?" Branthanas says, "Well how about I spirit of the Ent out of this table and kick your a**?"

Much laughter ensues.

-Maikel-
a.k.a. Drew


Submitted By: Maikel (Drew)

"Friends make like Fun,
it's your enimies, that make it Interesting..."

-Dricarn

Submitted By: Richard Coennen

Me and a buncha people where just sitting outside the tavern before game set , one of which being Mike Boze otherwise known as Raru, it was said that there would be some Lich Lord comming after him as soon as game started, so me and my uncle Scott Ellis (Davyn / Xander) started taking bids on how long he would live. Heh me and Scott gave him a fair 30 seconds, but it turned out all of it was fake and a lot of people wanted their gold back LoL.